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Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child, Revised Edition, by Ellen Mitchell, Rita Volpe, Ariella Long, Phyllis Levine, Madeline Perri K
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Meant to comfort and give direction to bereaved parents, Beyond Tears is written by nine mothers who have each lost a child. This revised edition includes a new chapter written from the perspective of surviving siblings.
The death of a child is that unimaginable loss no parent ever expects to face. In Beyond Tears, nine mothers share their individual stories of how to survive in the darkest hour. They candidly share with other bereaved parents what to expect in the first year and long beyond:
*Harmonious relationships can become strained
*There is a new definition of what one considers "normal"
*The question "how many children do you have?" can be devastating
*Mothers and fathers mourn and cope differently
*Surviving siblings grieve and suffer as well
*There simply is no answer to the question "why?"
This sharing in itself is a catharsis and because each of these mothers lost her child at least seven years ago, she is in a unique position to provide perspective on what newly bereaved parents can expect to feel. The mothers of Beyond Tears offer reassurance that the clouds of grief do lessen with time and that grieving parents will find a way to live, and even laugh again.
- Sales Rank: #29483 in Books
- Brand: Mitchell, Ellen/ Barkin, Carol (CON)/ Cohen, Audrey (CON)/ Colletti, Lorenza (CON)/ Eisenberg, Barba
- Published on: 2009-03-03
- Released on: 2009-03-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.23" h x .56" w x 5.50" l, .41 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
Review
“[An] eloquent volume… Bereaved parents will find comfort, sympathy and support in this powerful, honest sharing of one of life's most painful experiences.” ―Publishers Weekly
“The thoughts and feelings related here are incredibly honest and courageous and would greatly assist any parent who has lost a child and feels alone. Highly recommended.” ―Library Journal (starred review)
“[Beyond Tears] lets readers know that there are folks out there who have been in their shoes, felt their feelings and learned to live life again.” ―The Plain Dealer (Cleveland)
About the Author
The book was written by Ellen Mitchell, who has a regular weekend column in Newsday, together with a group of nine mothers who each have lost a child: Carol Barkin, Audrey Cohen, Lorenza Colletti, Barbara Eisenberg, Barbara Goldstein, Madelaine Perri Kasden, Phyllis Levine, Ariella Long, and Rita Volpe.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
We are the closest of friends. We share the deepest intimacies of our lives. We wish we had never met.
In the weeks and months following the deaths of our children even as we were totally shrouded in grief, we somehow came to realize that if we were going to continue living…and some of us were not at all sure we wanted to continue living…we would need help.
Lorenza “When you lose a child you need someone who understands your pain, someone who has been there and knows you will never be the same.”
—from Beyond Tears
Most helpful customer reviews
31 of 32 people found the following review helpful.
Not going crazy
By Rosemarie S. Perry
This book has been a tremendous affirmation of my sanity in grief when friends are expecting a grieving parent to "get over it." There is no "getting over it."
It helps to know that my continued sadness in response to losing my daughter is not abnormal, but rather a natural grieving process. The reality is that grief is not a choice, that life will never be the same, that there will always be reminders of the life that could have been. The challenge for parents who have lost a child is to continue to live with tears that are never far from the surface.
29 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
Not a book to cheer you up but....
By Joy Costa
It's a read to help you find a roadmap of your own. I found that taking 9 different viewpoints was extremely validating. I lost my oldest son, Seth, a little over a year ago, and I've began and never finished numerous books. This one finally came through with insight that only those who have walked in our shoes can. It's not a fast read, but it's a great one.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I'm returning to this book once again to help me through this terrible milestone. I would certainly recommend this book to ...
By Amazon Customer
Since losing my 29 year old son, Michael a year ago I have tried reading numerous books on grieving. I couldn't get through any of them. Then I discovered Beyond Tears and felt that these 9 women were speaking directly to me. It's been an affirmation for me that it's not abnormal to not listen to music anymore or become so overwhelmed that the only way to let out my grief is to scream. It's been a lifeline and now, a year later, I'm returning to this book once again to help me through this terrible milestone. I would certainly recommend this book to anyone who has lost an adult child.
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